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.And there’re a couple of minor viral infections of no particular importance.And a couple cases of respiratory impairment, but I don’t know what’s causing it.”“There’s a tuberculosis admit on Alexes’ list.We’ve put him in a closed room, and we’re taking all the precautions we can.I hope it isn’t as serious as Alexes seems to think.” Natalie put down her materials.“I used to think that the serious challenges had left medicine.I wish I could get that feeling back again.”Amanda sighed.“No.You’ve never taken this for granted.You think you have, but I’ve watched you.” She paused, yawned, and said, “I must be more tired than I thought.”“Take a break,” Natalie suggested.“I’ve got to finish these things first.Then I’ll sit down.No, about what I was saying: you’re truly conscientious.That’s rare.It’s rare in doctors and everywhere else.I admire you for it.” Amanda stopped.“And we should both get back to work.”Natalie gestured her agreement and set up her specimen for a blood count.Radick nodded sympathetically.“You say the patient is young?” he asked Natalie, who told him the child’s age.“Seven is very young to die.” Radick was sadly thoughtful.“Do you want me to tell the parents, or shall you?”“Guardian.An aunt.She’s quite young herself, not more than twenty-five.I just don’t know what to say to her, Radick.I’ve tried to think for the last half hour.How do you tell either of them that the girl has leukemia, and the disease is quite advanced?”“I don’t know.Oh, I can soften the blow, and perhaps help them avert the worst effects of the shock, but there is not way to alter the truth.If the child has this cancer, there is very little we can do other than lessen the worst of her suffering.” He turned away, suddenly very angry.“I hope all those smug, anonymous men who made these decisions have to go through this.I hope they have to see stricken faces and the tortured eyes.I hope they have to watch impotently while their children die.” He broke off and looked chagrined.“I’m sorry, Natalie.I did not mean to burden you with my frustration or my rage.”She shrugged.“That’s part of the trouble.We can do so little, and then we start to hate ourselves because we can do nothing.I have often thought that physicians’ arrogance—and it is a disease rampant among us—is an attempt to immunize ourselves against self-hate.” He sat down on the bench at the breakfast table, which had become his office.“Very well.Send in the child and her aunt, and I will talk to them and do what I can, though it will be little enough.”“Radick,” Natalie ventured.“Go away,” he said in gruff compassion.“Go into our common room and give yourself a few minutes to be calm again.We both need it.” He showed her a gentle smile ravaged by grief.“Go away,” he repeated softly.“The girl’s name is Melanie Lovat.The aunt’s name is Sheila Wentworth.”Radick nodded.“Thank you.”The common room was almost deserted, and the litter of three days covered the formal dining table.Papers, coffee mugs, a crumpled lab smock, all lay on the fine-grained wood.By the tile-inlaid fireplace on the far side of the room several chairs were drawn up, and newssheets lay in piles on the low coffee table.Natalie made a half-hearted attempt to neaten the room, then dropped into one of the elegant chairs opposite Amanda.“You look tired,” Amanda said after a moment or two.“So do you.” She was more concerned than her voice showed.Amanda’s face was clay-colored with fatigue, and her breathing was strained.“Have you kept up with your drugs?” Natalie asked, hating herself for asking.“Of course,” Amanda said.“But you know what it’s like: it’s hard to relax with this going on.So I don’t sleep as well as I ought, I know it.”Natalie nodded.“Have you seen the news today? They’re admitting that the death rate is up sixteen per cent.”“Which probably means twice that,” Natalie added.“No doubt.Absenteeism is running at almost forty per cent, according to official releases.Undoubtedly some of this can be accounted for by those staying home to take care of sick family members, and some are staying home out of fear.But that’s still too many.” She sighed.“Is Stan back yet?”“Not that I know of.He’s planning to take a bus at the Great Beltway.Which means he’ll probably be late.One of the patients, a Mr.Eastly, said he had to wait almost two hours for a bus yesterday.” Fleetingly, Natalie wondered why she felt she had to have an explanation for Stan’s absence.She told herself it was nerves.“Why don’t you take a nap, Amanda? You aren’t on duty for another four hours.”Amanda nodded.“Thank you.I believe I will.” She rose unsteadily.“I might look in on Mr.Rice.He’s going fast, and I think he’s frightened.” Amanda walked slowly to the door.“Will you call me when you go off duty? I don’t want to set my alarm.It will waken Carol and Lisa on the other side of the screen.”“All right.If you’re not up, I’ll call you.” Natalie watched the door close behind Amanda.Then remembering Radick’s instructions, she tried to rest and compose herself, which very quickly made her nervous.At last she reached for the screen and turned it on.Light, inane entertainment might be the counterirritant she needed.A news broadcast was in progress, and she was about to try another network when she was caught by a name she thought she recognized.She turned the sound higher and waited.“.on the steps of Stockton’s Central Administration Building.Dr.Patman, who was dismissed for cause from Westbank Hospital last month, claimed that the current outbreak of disease was a deliberate plot on the part of the government, an experiment in population control.Dr.Patman demanded that the administration answer his charges, and when asked to leave, he threatened to fill his own veins with certain toxins he said he was carrying on his person.The City Patrol was called to subdue Dr.Patman.”Natalie watched, transfixed as Eric Patman’s tiny figure struggled with the uniformed men on the screen.Then she saw him lift something, and whatever his words mouthed, the announcer’s smooth voice covered.“Dr.Patman had been suffering from depression, and had convinced himself that the current city health problem was engineered by certain nameless agencies of the federal government, according to Dr.Miles Wexford, chief administrator at Westbank Hospital.”“You clever bastards,” Natalie said to the screen.“On examination, Dr.Patman was found to have died from a self-administered injection of botulin.”Natalie was half out of her chair.“What?”“A suicide note was found in his apartment, admitting his intention to kill himself in this manner if he could not convince the authorities to stop what he termed ‘this unmitigated atrocity.’ There will be a private hearing in the coroner’s office tomorrow to determine Dr.Patman’s state of mind at the time of his death.” On the screen a bad picture of Eric showed him working with slides in his immunological laboratory, the very picture of a mad scientist.“Liar!” Natalie shouted, getting out of her chair completely.The newscaster had gone blandly on to other topics.Helpless rage washed over her as she watched the screen.Eric Patman was dead.He had killed himself to stop this horrible farce, and the news had made a slightly off-color joke of his sacrifice.Eric Patman was dead.Natalie found herself shaking, her hands held tightly together, her body tightened intolerably.Eric Patman was dead.Somehow she would have to tell the others.Natalie was still awake, staring at the ceiling when Harry came into their room.She watched him without speaking while he pulled off his lab coat, his shirt, then his shoes.When he went to stare out the window, her eyes followed him
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