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.The three of us went out to Jessie’s car, and Alex helped Ciera into the back seat.As I pulled out of the lot I said, “You’ll need to tell me where I’m going, I have no idea where either of you live.”“Just take a right here…” He guided me to Ciera’s building, which was a duplex unit on a quiet street.We helped Ciera into her apartment, and made sure she locked the door behind us, then went back to the car.There was a moment of awkwardness when we got back into the car, alone together.We locked eyes and I froze.I wanted to kiss him, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop, that I’d go too far.So instead, I started the car, trying to get my lust under control.He directed me to his apartment, which was quite near to Ciera’s, and we sat in the car in the driveway.“I’m really looking forward to tomorrow night.”“Me, too.”“Marc, can I kiss you?” His question threw me.I’d been trying to restrain myself, but if he wanted me with half as much desire as I had for him right then, we were screwed.I turned towards him and nodded dumbly, and he leaned in and pressed his lips to mine.He was gentle and sweet as he opened his mouth, sweeping his tongue over my lips, exploring softly.I opened to him and touched my tongue to his, loving his taste, his smell.He rubbed my thigh, keeping well away from the erection straining against my jeans.I caressed his hip, finding a swath of skin where his shirt had ridden up and smoothing my fingers over this little piece of exposed flesh.I was aroused, certainly, and would have happily followed him in to his house, to his bed, but the overwhelming lust I had felt before with Chris was not there.I was in control of myself, and I knew I would be able to leave him when he broke the kiss.This knowledge emboldened me, and I slipped my hand further under the hem of his shirt, creeping up.He moaned against my mouth and leaned into me, increasing the intensity of his own stroking of my thigh.After a few more moments, I broke away.I wasn’t ready for this to go any further, tonight.I needed to consider how to explain my situation to him, and I wanted to talk to Jessie about how much I should tell him.He smiled at me and sucked his bottom lip.“I should go, I guess.”“Yeah.Me too.”But neither of us made a move.I reached for his hand and held it in mine, playing with his fingers, rubbing his palm.I was afraid he would kiss me again, and I might not be able to break away a second time.But instead, he brought my hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it, then said, “I’ll pick you up at six tomorrow?”“I’ll be ready.”He got out and jogged to his front door, turning to give me a little wave right before he slipped inside.I drove home with a ridiculous grin on my face.I wanted to tell Jessie all about it, but when I parked her car I noticed Rob’s car was parked next to it, in the spot that would be mine if I had a car.I was happy for her.Rob seemed like a nice guy, and she looked happy with him.I only felt bad that she’d been holding back because of me, but hopefully that was over now.11.I was up earlier than normal, and fed several times just to calm my nerves.When I heard Rob and Jessie in the hallway I went to the window, watching the parking lot.Finally he drove off, and a few moments later Jessie knocked on my door.“Hey.”“Hey.Rob slept over?”“Yeah.Were you okay, last night?” She looked worried, and I felt like shit.She had a boyfriend for the first time in over a year and she was feeling guilty about it?“Jessie, I was fine.I’m happy for you.Please don’t worry about me.As bad as I get sometimes, I’d feel worse to think you were sacrificing your happiness for me.”She said “okay” and we sat down on my couch together.“Actually, I was more than fine last night.Alex asked me out.”“Really? That’s awesome! You like him?”“Yeah, I like him a lot.I dropped him off, and he kissed me.We’re going out tonight.” I couldn’t stop smiling.“Marc! You are unbelievable! Well, Ciera’s going to be happy.She thought he only told her he was gay because he didn’t want to go out with her.Tell me everything.”I told her how I’d kept control of myself, and how it had been fairly easy to leave, even though I was really attracted to Alex
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